I have never thought that this would happen,but here it is now:I'm in love with two guys at the same time.Not one,but two.Double whammy,huh?
My heart and mind have been on a rollercoaster ride these past few months.Which of you exactly do I like? Or,more precisely,which of you do I like more? Geez,I have no idea whatsoever.If I have the slightest idea,would I be in such a dilemma now?
I love p for the confidence that he oozes when he speaks;his maturity and eye for small details gives me a sense of security.And I appreciate very much the fact that he can see through me and tell if I'm feeling troubled;I have not known him for long(slightly more than half a year)but already I find myself pouring out weals and woes to him on occasion after occasion.He seems(I reiterate the word "seems")like a mama's boy(aka the boy who is ever so-gentlemanly,the boy who always goes by the book,the boy who is ever ready to help,the boy who contemplates a great deal before he makes a decision)but deep down I know he has a lot more potential than that.
Ah ha.I love guys who can be real naughty when you look beyond that goody-two-shoes exterior.I enjoyed flirting with him (well if you call that flirting in the first place),I enjoyed the dates we had together (though he did give me reasons to be unhappy about,ah but that's another story.).I enjoyed 'testing' him and vice versa,I felt a little shiver when he fixed his gaze on my face and I immediately looked away.I can never forget how he volunteered to visit the museum with me (how many guys would be willing to spend a day at the oh-so-boring musuem?),how he remembered my passion for history and lending me a CD-rom on hk's history, and how he made sure that the seat at Mac's wasn't too cold (cos I had complained that it was too chilly for my liking earlier on).Hmmm...gentleman-ness coupled with that deadly I-can't-quite-catch-hold-of you element,I've been won over.
But here's the thing:he's nice to everyone.Yeah so we had went on dates,but I was the one who initiated them.We have had our intimate moments and little secrets,but that's it.I don't know how he feels towards me...I have an inkling that he does like me a little,but what good is that when he never asks me out or declares it explicitly.Arghhhhhhhh.
And there's Mr V.Yes so by now regular visitors to my blog would probably know about my story with Mr V.And yes,we are still caught in that we-like-each-other-but-somehow-we-are-still-not-together stage....frankly it's annoying me to bits but then again,when have I never been so?
I have the hots for him ever since the start of my university life and we have been through so much together.We tell each other some of our "darkest" secrets,there's this connection between us that no one else shares,I've always loved how we share secrets that only the both us know.The chemistry between us is undeniable;we are always spurting out the same statements or comments simultaneously or finishing each other's sentences. He cares for me(the silly boy reminded me not to use the laptop in the dark or my eyesight will deteriorate and he helped me photocopy textbooks even when I didn't ask him to)and I care for him (haha I have lost count of the different occasions when I did that.)So why aren't we together still? Arghhhhh.
Now you see why I'm having a massive headache.
I don't know how long this can go on forever....both of them are bound to know that I like the both of them sooner or later (since we have mutual friends),and I don't ever want that to happen.They have been good friends since secondary school(senior and junior from the same school),and I can't imagine things turning ugly because of me.And yeah,knowing guys from all-boys' schools,they'll probably decide that they'd rather keep their friendship than fight over the same girl....oooh er.Wouldn't I end up with nothing then?
But that is,if they even like me to begin with.I'm officially back to square one.Maybe I should just stop dwelling on it and wait till either of them actually asks me out.SIGH.